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Deviant for 10 Years
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Sienna Lee by Gray-Eel Sienna Lee :icongray-eel:Gray-Eel 5 10 Things aren't as pretty on the inside by Gray-Eel Things aren't as pretty on the inside :icongray-eel:Gray-Eel 14 14 Acupuncturess by Gray-Eel
Mature content
Acupuncturess :icongray-eel:Gray-Eel 16 2
Womyn by Gray-Eel
Mature content
Womyn :icongray-eel:Gray-Eel 20 9
A sacrifice to the void by Gray-Eel
Mature content
A sacrifice to the void :icongray-eel:Gray-Eel 15 7
Leap by Gray-Eel
Mature content
Leap :icongray-eel:Gray-Eel 15 3
Son by Gray-Eel Son :icongray-eel:Gray-Eel 13 7 Therapy by Gray-Eel Therapy :icongray-eel:Gray-Eel 19 7 Deadweight by Gray-Eel
Mature content
Deadweight :icongray-eel:Gray-Eel 16 5
Closer by Gray-Eel
Mature content
Closer :icongray-eel:Gray-Eel 14 2
Mouths to feed by Gray-Eel
Mature content
Mouths to feed :icongray-eel:Gray-Eel 15 7
Grotesque II (The suffering) by Gray-Eel
Mature content
Grotesque II (The suffering) :icongray-eel:Gray-Eel 20 4
Mathilde and the tumour by Gray-Eel Mathilde and the tumour :icongray-eel:Gray-Eel 15 9 Mother and child by Gray-Eel
Mature content
Mother and child :icongray-eel:Gray-Eel 23 4
Spider porn by Gray-Eel
Mature content
Spider porn :icongray-eel:Gray-Eel 17 11
The broken lighthouse by Gray-Eel
Mature content
The broken lighthouse :icongray-eel:Gray-Eel 19 5

Random Favourites

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Room 304 PVC 1 by auxcentral
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Harley Quinn Death Of Batman by InsaneKane87 Harley Quinn Death Of Batman :iconinsanekane87:InsaneKane87 867 240 Fetish 7 by auxcentral
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Fetish by Magrad Fetish :iconmagrad:Magrad 780 115 Glueck auf by hentai-kitty
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Don't Speak 2 by addictedImage
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These Boots by SabrinaFox
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The Redhead in PVC sitting 1 by auxcentral
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Dogwitch Desktop by wytherwing Dogwitch Desktop :iconwytherwing:wytherwing 13 42 A New Year's Wish by wytherwing A New Year's Wish :iconwytherwing:wytherwing 150 117 theMARRIAGEofHEAVENandHELL II by fantasio theMARRIAGEofHEAVENandHELL II :iconfantasio:fantasio 549 170 BOXofPANDORA by fantasio BOXofPANDORA :iconfantasio:fantasio 556 159

Toward the end of August of 2016, at the age of 36, I came out to my parents that I have been suffering with gender dysphoria for most of my life. After explaining what this is and what I will need to do to try and quell it, it never really goes away, they embraced me with open arms. They expressed their unconditional love and support for my new journey and their only point of concern was, why had I suffered in silence for so long? Inevitably, tears were shed and our bond that I felt had become incredibly strained and fragile over the years because of my dysphoria is finally healing. I trust that it will become stronger than it has ever been. I consider myself extremely fortunate to have their support, there are so many trans people in this regard who have not been as lucky.

After many years of living with self-loathing, depression and constant hatred towards myself, I am in the process of shedding this poorly executed mould of the “boy/man” disguise that I made. For the longest time, I thought that I was condemned to exist in the world in this prison because I constantly reminded myself that I would be shunned by family and friends, labelled a freak or seen as mentally ill if I did otherwise. Constant encouragement leading to an intervention of sorts from a few close friends, coupled with the gnawing teeth of dysphoria that takes a little bit out of you each day eventually got me to see a psychologist towards the end of last year. This single action opened door after door since then. Each door, from laser hair removal, joining a local support group to starting hormone replacement therapy (HRT) amongst other things, has proven to be a vital step in an ongoing journey whose horizon gets a little brighter with every step. At some point, you realise you are responsible for creating your own happiness and no one is going to do it for you.

I never thought it would be possible to look at a mirror and love the person in the reflection. After starting HRT two days shy of four months ago, gazing into a mirror no longer made me imagine wanting to smash it to pieces and self-mutilate myself with the shards. When I think back to the times I wanted to end it all, I am so grateful today that I did not.

I love my new self and with each day I learn a bit more about her. She is my twin. We share the same taste in music, enjoy the same kinds of books and films and loves the work she does for a living. We eat too much junk food on weekends and then feel guilty about it afterwards. Two things I have learned so far is that she spends a bit too much time online looking at clothes. The new morning bathroom routine also requires way more time than I thought possible. Fighting back hair growth requires its own timetable but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Everything I have lived through has led me to where I am to today and at long last, I can be the person I was meant to be. For the first time in my life, I love being me.

My pronouns are “she” and “her”. My name is Sienna Lee.

Hello world.

  • Listening to: Cherry Glazerr

Activity


Toward the end of August of 2016, at the age of 36, I came out to my parents that I have been suffering with gender dysphoria for most of my life. After explaining what this is and what I will need to do to try and quell it, it never really goes away, they embraced me with open arms. They expressed their unconditional love and support for my new journey and their only point of concern was, why had I suffered in silence for so long? Inevitably, tears were shed and our bond that I felt had become incredibly strained and fragile over the years because of my dysphoria is finally healing. I trust that it will become stronger than it has ever been. I consider myself extremely fortunate to have their support, there are so many trans people in this regard who have not been as lucky.

After many years of living with self-loathing, depression and constant hatred towards myself, I am in the process of shedding this poorly executed mould of the “boy/man” disguise that I made. For the longest time, I thought that I was condemned to exist in the world in this prison because I constantly reminded myself that I would be shunned by family and friends, labelled a freak or seen as mentally ill if I did otherwise. Constant encouragement leading to an intervention of sorts from a few close friends, coupled with the gnawing teeth of dysphoria that takes a little bit out of you each day eventually got me to see a psychologist towards the end of last year. This single action opened door after door since then. Each door, from laser hair removal, joining a local support group to starting hormone replacement therapy (HRT) amongst other things, has proven to be a vital step in an ongoing journey whose horizon gets a little brighter with every step. At some point, you realise you are responsible for creating your own happiness and no one is going to do it for you.

I never thought it would be possible to look at a mirror and love the person in the reflection. After starting HRT two days shy of four months ago, gazing into a mirror no longer made me imagine wanting to smash it to pieces and self-mutilate myself with the shards. When I think back to the times I wanted to end it all, I am so grateful today that I did not.

I love my new self and with each day I learn a bit more about her. She is my twin. We share the same taste in music, enjoy the same kinds of books and films and loves the work she does for a living. We eat too much junk food on weekends and then feel guilty about it afterwards. Two things I have learned so far is that she spends a bit too much time online looking at clothes. The new morning bathroom routine also requires way more time than I thought possible. Fighting back hair growth requires its own timetable but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Everything I have lived through has led me to where I am to today and at long last, I can be the person I was meant to be. For the first time in my life, I love being me.

My pronouns are “she” and “her”. My name is Sienna Lee.

Hello world.

  • Listening to: Cherry Glazerr

deviantID

Gray-Eel
Sienna Lee
South Africa
Current Residence: Johannesburg, South Africa
Operating System: Caffeine and anxiety
Personal Quote: Play your mistakes loudly
Interests

Comments


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:iconwytherwing:
wytherwing Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2017
:) thanks Gary for the :+fav: on Cold War ;)
Reply
:icongray-eel:
Gray-Eel Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2017
My pleasure Alan :thumbsup:
Reply
:iconosvaldogreco:
osvaldogreco Featured By Owner May 19, 2016
Happy Birthday!:D
Reply
:icongray-eel:
Gray-Eel Featured By Owner May 19, 2016
Thanks! ^^
Reply
:iconshaunc:
shaunC Featured By Owner May 18, 2016   General Artist
H Pumpkie A Pumpkie P Pumpkie P Pumpkie Y Pumpkie
B Pumpkie I Pumpkie R Pumpkie T Pumpkie H Pumpkie D Pumpkie A Pumpkie Y Pumpkie
happy DA B-day :3 
Reply
:icongray-eel:
Gray-Eel Featured By Owner May 18, 2016
:happybounce: Many thanks shaunC!
Reply
:iconbritbastard:
BritBastard Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the llama, Gary.  The llama is now grazing peacefully with the 91 other members of the herd.  :D :D
David
Reply
:icongray-eel:
Gray-Eel Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2016
You're most welcome David. I trust you have sufficient grazing land for future llamas ;)
Reply
:iconbritbastard:
BritBastard Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
That's a good question, Gary, as I plan to move house later this year.  I may need to upgrade to a smallholding!  LOL
David
Reply
:iconabstrusephoenixxx:
AbstrusePhoenixxx Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2015   Traditional Artist
Thank you for the fave, Gary. It's greatly appreciated.
Reply
:icongray-eel:
Gray-Eel Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2015
You're most welcome Drew!
Reply
:iconwytherwing:
wytherwing Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2015
:) thanks Gary for the :+fav: on Goodbye Yesterday :beer:
Reply
:icongray-eel:
Gray-Eel Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2015
You're welcome Alan. Great work!
Reply
:iconxeno-savonarola:
xeno-savonarola Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2015
your stuff is excellent, Garry
Reply
:icongray-eel:
Gray-Eel Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2015
Many thanks for liking the work :)
Reply
:iconxeno-savonarola:
xeno-savonarola Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2015
listen, i miss some more info about the pieces, such as sizes. how big are the drawings?
Reply
:icongray-eel:
Gray-Eel Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2015
I'm sorry for not having made this information available. Most of the drawings are 594mm x 420mm (A2) depending on their orientation, there are two or three that are 420mm x 297mm (A3). I'll be sure to include measurements when I post from now on ;) Hoping this helps in the meantime!
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconabstrusephoenixxx:
AbstrusePhoenixxx Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2015   Traditional Artist
Thank you for your latest fave, Gray-Eel. I had assumed that I'd given a llama already, but, since DA has just let me, I evidently hadn't. For your continued interest in my work, and the continuing excellence of your own, you now have that llama.
Reply
:icongray-eel:
Gray-Eel Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2015
You're most welcome for the fave Drew and thank you for the llama ;)
Reply
:iconabstrusephoenixxx:
AbstrusePhoenixxx Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2015   Traditional Artist
Thank you for the favourites, 'Gray-Eel'. I found your thought processes (on the bio of your site) articulating a lot of my attitudes to my own works.

Were I not already battling my artistic tendency to procrastination, I'd 'fave' each and every image in your gallery.

A watch, instead, methinks.
Reply
:icongray-eel:
Gray-Eel Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2015
Hi Drew, sorry for the late response.

You're very welcome. I really like your bunnies series and I do hope to see more of these in future. I too sense a connection or maybe it's a happy coincidence how similar my work is with this particular series. Whether it's the similar colour palettes, obsessive attitude towards rendering glossy textures or the subject matter, there does seem to be a lot in common.

A watch too, is in order.
Reply
:iconabstrusephoenixxx:
AbstrusePhoenixxx Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2015   Traditional Artist
Not a problem. :)

Oh, there'll be more bunnies added, to be sure. To tell the truth, I get ideas for them faster than I can render them, so there's a bit of a backlog.
Reply
:icongray-eel:
Gray-Eel Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2015
That is great to hear. I'm looking forward to them!
Reply
:iconlatexlorraine:
LatexLorraine Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2015  Hobbyist
Where oh where have YOU been hiding? I've searched DeviantArt for latex and high heels for as long as I've been on DA and never come across your amazing, lusciously latexed, high heeled, kinky work before. I simply love it and cannot stop looking at it ... can't wait to see what's next!
Reply
:icongray-eel:
Gray-Eel Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2015
I've just realised I need to re tag all my drawings since I've definitely limited my avenues ^^ Thank you for liking the outpourings of my fevered imaginings.
Reply
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